Miss Mom a Sign of Dramatic Korean Family Change
The rules used to be: every Korean man should marry in his 20s, the couple are expected to live with the husband's parents and have as many children (preferably sons) as possible, divorce is unthinkable....
In early January the gossip columns of the Korean tabloid press found a new topic. Last December, Ho Su-gyong, a well-known Korean TV celebrity gave birth to a nice healthy girl. There was one thing special about this event. Ms.Ho is not married, and she conceived her daughter artificially.
In early January the gossip columns of the Korean tabloid press found a new topic. Last December, Ho Su-gyong, a well-known Korean TV celebrity gave birth to a nice healthy girl. There was one thing special about this event. Ms.Ho is not married, and she conceived her daughter artificially.
Merely
15 years ago such a decision would be unthinkable for a respectable
Korean woman. Nowadays, it still seems to be unusual, but the public is
excited and positive about the news. This is yet another sign of the
dramatic change in Korean family life.
As recent as the early 1980s, Korean family life was based on principles and expectations, which had not changed much since the early 1900s.
The rules were known to everybody; every Korean should marry in his or her 20s and would-be spouses were chosen or at least approved by parents.
The spouses were expected to live together till death do them part, with divorce being almost unthinkable. Since the 1940s unmarried women in Korea have had jobs, but it was universally assumed they would resign once married, to spend the rest of their lives as full-time housewives.
The newly weds were expected to live with the husband's parents. The wife was also required to be unconditionally faithful, while it was generally accepted that the husband might engage in some extra-marital affairs if he wished to do so and could manage the related expenses. Finally, a good family had to have as many children (preferably sons) as possible.
Exceptions from these rules existed but were rare. Lifelong spinsterhood was virtually unknown, although it was found only among the most destitute social groups. It was not a lifestyle even a moderately respectable person would consider.
For centuries, those certainties have formed the basis of a family life in a Confucian society. Admittedly, it was not much different from the traditions to be found in patriarchic societies across the globe.
Most of these assumptions even survived the dramatic economic transformation of the 1960s and 1970s. However, over the last few decades things have changed.
Perhaps, the major indicator of new times is the dramatic decline in the birth rate. In the early 1960s, the average Korean woman gave birth six times. By the early 1980s, the figure dropped to the ``replacement level'' of 2.2 births, and nowadays it is merely 1.1. This is one of the world's lowest levels, and if the trend continues, every next generation of Koreans will shrink by half.
At the same time, the old preference for boys has disappeared as well. Merely 15 years ago the spread of medical technologies, which enabled fetus sex determination, led to a wave of sex-selective abortions and remarkable gender imbalance. However, the problem has almost disappeared by now; it seems that Korean parents do not really care about the sex of their children any more.
For better or worse, divorce has become a usual part of Korean life. In 1991, there were 1.1 divorces per every 1000 people. In those days divorce was seen as a major personal disaster, and could seriously damage career prospects of a divorcee.
Even pop singers were very careful with divorce a couple of decades ago. However, the divorce rate began to grow in the early 1990s, and the dramatic events of the 1997 financial crisis, such as wives abandoning their husbands in droves, greatly exaggerated the tempo of changes.
In 2006 there were 2.6 divorces per every 1000 Koreans. This means that nowadays roughly half of Korean marriages are destined to end in a divorce. When it comes to divorce rates, Korea ranks above nearly all OECD countries, but below the United States whose divorce level of 3.6 in 2006, is the world's highest.
Single motherhood, once a taboo, is also on the rise. Of course, it is noteworthy that Ms.Ho Su-gyong used artificial insemination methods: had she chosen to rely on a more conventional method of conceiving, this would probably have damaged her reputation and career significantly. Still, until the 1990s single mothers faced complete rejection in the society.
This was among the factors behind Korea's onetime prominence in the international adoption business: for many unwed Korean women the only option would be to give birth secretly and then give the baby up for overseas adoption, so nobody at home would learn about their ``disgrace.'' A divorced mother fared only marginally better: no respectable companies would employ a woman with such a dubious past.
Now things are very different. As of 2005, there were 1.1 million single parents (overwhelmingly mothers) in Korea. Many of them were widows, but roughly one out of four has become a single mother after divorce. Women who deliberately chose single motherhood remain a rarity, but this is also becoming acceptable for some people.
To distinguish themselves from the destitute ``single mothers'' of bygone days, such new generations of women used the English term ``Miss Mom,'' to describe their family situation. Judging by the mass celebration of Ms.Ho's decision to become a ``Miss Mom,'' the numbers of those women are likely to increase considerably in the near future.
The major driving force behind all this is a change in the social position of women. Until the late 1980s it was assumed that woman's career should end with her marriage. Indeed, back then most companies even had an official policy of firing female employees as soon as they got married.
This is not the case any more. In 2007, 44 percent of all married Korean women had a full time job. Among the younger married women, such full-time employees made up a clear majority. Gone are the days that a good Korean woman is ready to spend all her life looking after her children as well as her aging (and, as old proverbs testify, usually quarrelsome) in-laws, and carefully managing family assets. Nowadays, they aspire for much more. Over the last decade Korea has seen the emergence of the first female general, first female ambassador and, the first female prime-minister.
Until now, it has been assumed that the older Koreans will live with their grown-up children, being looked after by the obedient daughters-in-law. However, this is not the case any more. The nuclear family ― spouses and their unmarried children ― is becoming a norm in Korea as well. In 1995, 44 percent of aged Koreans resided with their married children. Merely 12 years ago, in 2004, the figure dropped to 32 percent, and has been going down since. This means that the ``in-laws question,'' the major problem Korean women faced since times immemorial, has lost it earlier significance. Nowadays, they live separately.
The changes of family life in Korea are not that special. We have seen very similar processes in a number of other developed countries. The major difference is the tempo of such changes. The transformation of family life, which took over a century in Europe, was finished within three or four decades in Korea.
Source: Koreatimes
As recent as the early 1980s, Korean family life was based on principles and expectations, which had not changed much since the early 1900s.
The rules were known to everybody; every Korean should marry in his or her 20s and would-be spouses were chosen or at least approved by parents.
The spouses were expected to live together till death do them part, with divorce being almost unthinkable. Since the 1940s unmarried women in Korea have had jobs, but it was universally assumed they would resign once married, to spend the rest of their lives as full-time housewives.
The newly weds were expected to live with the husband's parents. The wife was also required to be unconditionally faithful, while it was generally accepted that the husband might engage in some extra-marital affairs if he wished to do so and could manage the related expenses. Finally, a good family had to have as many children (preferably sons) as possible.
Exceptions from these rules existed but were rare. Lifelong spinsterhood was virtually unknown, although it was found only among the most destitute social groups. It was not a lifestyle even a moderately respectable person would consider.
For centuries, those certainties have formed the basis of a family life in a Confucian society. Admittedly, it was not much different from the traditions to be found in patriarchic societies across the globe.
Most of these assumptions even survived the dramatic economic transformation of the 1960s and 1970s. However, over the last few decades things have changed.
Perhaps, the major indicator of new times is the dramatic decline in the birth rate. In the early 1960s, the average Korean woman gave birth six times. By the early 1980s, the figure dropped to the ``replacement level'' of 2.2 births, and nowadays it is merely 1.1. This is one of the world's lowest levels, and if the trend continues, every next generation of Koreans will shrink by half.
At the same time, the old preference for boys has disappeared as well. Merely 15 years ago the spread of medical technologies, which enabled fetus sex determination, led to a wave of sex-selective abortions and remarkable gender imbalance. However, the problem has almost disappeared by now; it seems that Korean parents do not really care about the sex of their children any more.
For better or worse, divorce has become a usual part of Korean life. In 1991, there were 1.1 divorces per every 1000 people. In those days divorce was seen as a major personal disaster, and could seriously damage career prospects of a divorcee.
Even pop singers were very careful with divorce a couple of decades ago. However, the divorce rate began to grow in the early 1990s, and the dramatic events of the 1997 financial crisis, such as wives abandoning their husbands in droves, greatly exaggerated the tempo of changes.
In 2006 there were 2.6 divorces per every 1000 Koreans. This means that nowadays roughly half of Korean marriages are destined to end in a divorce. When it comes to divorce rates, Korea ranks above nearly all OECD countries, but below the United States whose divorce level of 3.6 in 2006, is the world's highest.
Single motherhood, once a taboo, is also on the rise. Of course, it is noteworthy that Ms.Ho Su-gyong used artificial insemination methods: had she chosen to rely on a more conventional method of conceiving, this would probably have damaged her reputation and career significantly. Still, until the 1990s single mothers faced complete rejection in the society.
This was among the factors behind Korea's onetime prominence in the international adoption business: for many unwed Korean women the only option would be to give birth secretly and then give the baby up for overseas adoption, so nobody at home would learn about their ``disgrace.'' A divorced mother fared only marginally better: no respectable companies would employ a woman with such a dubious past.
Now things are very different. As of 2005, there were 1.1 million single parents (overwhelmingly mothers) in Korea. Many of them were widows, but roughly one out of four has become a single mother after divorce. Women who deliberately chose single motherhood remain a rarity, but this is also becoming acceptable for some people.
To distinguish themselves from the destitute ``single mothers'' of bygone days, such new generations of women used the English term ``Miss Mom,'' to describe their family situation. Judging by the mass celebration of Ms.Ho's decision to become a ``Miss Mom,'' the numbers of those women are likely to increase considerably in the near future.
The major driving force behind all this is a change in the social position of women. Until the late 1980s it was assumed that woman's career should end with her marriage. Indeed, back then most companies even had an official policy of firing female employees as soon as they got married.
This is not the case any more. In 2007, 44 percent of all married Korean women had a full time job. Among the younger married women, such full-time employees made up a clear majority. Gone are the days that a good Korean woman is ready to spend all her life looking after her children as well as her aging (and, as old proverbs testify, usually quarrelsome) in-laws, and carefully managing family assets. Nowadays, they aspire for much more. Over the last decade Korea has seen the emergence of the first female general, first female ambassador and, the first female prime-minister.
Until now, it has been assumed that the older Koreans will live with their grown-up children, being looked after by the obedient daughters-in-law. However, this is not the case any more. The nuclear family ― spouses and their unmarried children ― is becoming a norm in Korea as well. In 1995, 44 percent of aged Koreans resided with their married children. Merely 12 years ago, in 2004, the figure dropped to 32 percent, and has been going down since. This means that the ``in-laws question,'' the major problem Korean women faced since times immemorial, has lost it earlier significance. Nowadays, they live separately.
The changes of family life in Korea are not that special. We have seen very similar processes in a number of other developed countries. The major difference is the tempo of such changes. The transformation of family life, which took over a century in Europe, was finished within three or four decades in Korea.
Source: Koreatimes
